Friday, March 25, 2016

First Chapter Makeovers



A few weeks back an agent tweeted that he was inviting writers to submit queries and first five pages of their manuscripts to him and he would be giving feedback on the pages. This particular submission was open for a couple of days only.

As I had been planning to query that particular agent later, I grabbed the opportunity and immediately sent the pages and my query letter to his email id. The agent was a biggie and very reputed and it would be great to get any kind of personalized feedback from him on my sample pages.

Normally all we get are form rejections that leave us scratching our heads, wondering where we went wrong.

A few days later the agent sent me his feedback. Though it was a short one, it pointed out a huge flaw in my initial few pages: the opening scene was very slow and a little too heavy on information and internal narration without enough scene action to pull the reader in. I wonder how I had missed the flaw. Yes, my opening was very slow. The agent had nailed it perfectly, zooming in on what was wrong with my first few pages. When I had queried that book last year, I did wonder why I had no requests for a partial or a full based on the first few pages.

Now I know why.

Keeping the agent’s feedback in mind, I revised the first three chapters. It was such an extensive revision, I feel I mauled my first three chapters like a vicious predator, until I had words under my fingernails. When I reread the three chapters, I was thrilled. It has become more interesting, racy and suits the theme of the book.

Sometimes this kind of a feedback is just the oxygen we need to revive our manuscripts.

Have you ever received such a feedback that has made you give your manuscript an extensive makeover that you don’t recognize it from the earlier version?


15 comments:

  1. That's awesome that the critique helped you so much. It's often so hard to step back and see the problem ourselves.

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    1. Natalie, I have that particular problem; I am not able to see the flaws in my writing, unless and until my critique partners point it out to me.

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  2. Glad you jumped at the opportunity. Saved yourself a lot of wasted query time down the road and made your story stronger.
    Sometimes you have to weigh the suggestions. On one of my books, one of my critique partners suggested a radical change to the story. The other three didn't and went with my gut and didn't make the sweeping changes.

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    1. Alex, I weighed the suggestions. Mulled over it for a day or two. Only after they resonated with me, I made the changes. I just added some story action and removed the internal narration bit weighing the pages down. Kind of tweaked it.

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  3. Excellent, Rachna! During a critique, an agent told me my first 40 pages were too slow and wanted me to condense it into 20. He was so right!

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    1. Madeline, more often than not our first few pages are slow on the action bit. And we also tend to weigh it down with backstory and narration, instead of perking it up with scene action.

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  4. My critique group is pretty good about recognizing slowed pacing, especially in beginnings. It's funny how we often can see the flaws in someone else's chapter but totally miss the flaws in our own. :D

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    1. Patricia, my critique partner too is quick to recognize slow pacing. I think sometimes we need an agent's critical eye to assess the pages and pinpoint the flaws in it.

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  5. Good for you, Rachna. Opportunities like that don't come along very often.

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    1. Richard, initially I was in two minds: whether to send my pages or not. Then I realized such opportunities don't come often.

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  6. This is interesting. I feel like I'll probably have the opposite problem when if I start writing novels (with better intent to finish them). Being a short fiction writer, I put only enough flesh on the bones to keep the story alive. I don't believe I've ever overhauled a story because of feedback someone else has given me. I've done it because of feedback I gave myself though.

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    1. Patrick, the agent's feedback was absolutely on the spot. Looking at my pages through the agent's eyes, I see how the first few pages of my story are weighed down with so much narration, there is no scene action to keep the reader reading. I wonder how I overlooked it :(

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  7. Any criticism, if taken in the right spirit is always a boon and more so coming from a knowlegable source, Rachna:)

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  8. That's the good thing about extra eyes. Sometimes they see things we miss because we're too close to the story.

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  9. It's so hard to mess with your first chapter (at least for me). Happy that the agent helped you; it's always great to get feedback that positively impacts your work.
    Ninja Girl

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